Like most people, I'd rather be happy than sad and I'd rather laugh than cry. My family suffered the loss of my wife Dellis' grandmother (Motherdear) a week ago Sunday. Arrangements were made for a memorial service. We came together quickly as a family. Travel plans were adjusted, time off from work was arranged and most of the immediate family managed to be here for the memorial service.
Where do we get our strength? From our family.
When are we strongest? When we're together.
Although saddened by the loss, I believe most family and friends took some small comfort in knowing that Motherdear had lived a long full life and had been ready to go for some time.
Dellis and I went out to dinner that night with our two oldest children and our older daughter's fiance. We laughed and talked and enjoyed the comfort of each other's company.
It was after ten o'clock when we got home. Not particularly late, but it had been a long emotional day. We put the remains of dinner and dessert into the fridge and we were all headed to different parts of the house to turn in for the night. We turned off most of the lights in the house.
The home phone rang.
Dellis answered it.
She sat down.
The hospice care worker whom we had just met earlier that day (part of the service that had just started two days prior) informed Dellis that her mother had passed away within the last hour.
Dr. and Mr. Blaylock, Dellis and Andre Blaylock
You're right in thinking that being under home hospice care means that we knew Dellis' mother time with us was limited. It's just that the time of her passing wasn't expected so soon.
Certainly not n the same day as Motherdear's service.
Dellis' parents had been together for well over fifty years. The last several years have seen Dellis' father (Lorenzo Vernon Blaylock) caring for his wife and mother. The loss of both in such a short period of time is devastating to many, but particularly so to my father-in-law.
Devastating? That word seems to lose a lot of power because often it's used so casually.
I know exactly what the word means and trust me, it does apply.
I'm helping with the arrangements. I have some experience from when my brother passed away two years ago (has it been only two years?).
I'll be printing up some large photos of my mother-in-law and probably spending a lot of time over at Dellis' father's house to help with the many people dropping in to offer their condolences.
There has bee so much that has happened in the last week and I could do a whole monologue on the night she passed. I'm sorry that I don't have the time to write more.
It's not that any one of us are falling completely to pieces, but as you might expect we're all helping each other through by allowing ourselves the time to grieve and leaning on each other when (or if) that's what we need. That way no one person is alone or has to carry any part of the sadness by themselves.
The condolences and gestures by friends near and far are also very much appreciated.
So, in case you were wondering, that is how I'm doing.
Thanks for asking.
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